Walking in Balance

One of the first things that I attempted when first starting my journey was to seriously inspect the struggle I was having with being healthy. It's an incredibly common experience to feel at a total loss with our own struggles - even as trained and experienced counselors, we have our own blind spots with our own issues. I knew that I wanted to be healthy, so why couldn't I adopt the strategies to get there? This is me balancing academic work and being a mother.  I'm working hard and caring for everyone.   Wonder what could be my struggle? Anyone, see who I am not taking care of here? As a counselor, when someone tells me that they are struggling with a behavior, there are many approaches to looking at that struggle - some approaches are gentler in their techniques than others, but many steer the counselor and client towards looking at the function of the behavior. The idea is that the behavior, no matter how much you WANT to get rid of it, has an important func...

My first lesson was how to set a wellness goal that was meaningful and would actually work. This means setting a goal that is so meaningful to you that it is something you love, that is motivating, and keeps you on your path, even when you want to wander off of it. For me, setting a goal of looking more attractive to others (as in the thin, socially acceptable ideal) will always fail. Similarly, setting the goal to make others happy or set an example for my children as the main focus would also fail. I was not doing this for myself, I was doing it for other's approval. I have done this in the past and never made progress. Similarly, setting weight loss as the main goal was also missing the point. Weight is correlated with fitness, but it is not the defining factor of fitness. Also, focusing too much on the physical is imbalanced with the changes needed to mind and spirit. It makes it seem as if the body can be different, all problems will be solved. Nothing can be furth...

Naomi Furtado Photography When I turned 39, I had a bit of an existential awakening. I was going to turn 40 the next year and after having two children, I had blood pressure issues with each pregnancy. When I spoke to my midwife, she told me that pregnancy is like a crystal ball. It reveals what happens to your body when under stress, so it was likely that I would have blood pressure problems when I aged. Seeing what my parents and brothers had experienced with heart problems, I knew that I needed to act now. I saw how hard it was to be on so much medication, to have double/triple/quadruple bypasses and I knew that if I did not change my path, I would end up at that destination. So, I started my journey. I just did not know what I was doing! I may have a Ph.D. from Yale, be a full Professor in Counseling and School Psychology, but none of that training told me how to take care of myself. I had excelled in so many areas, while feeling as though I had failed in one of the mo...

I have created this blog as a place to reflect on my personal and professional journey towards wellness. As a counselor and a yogi, I also will reflect on how these lessons can be used to help others on their own journeys. Some posts will also include creative directives for use with clients in a counseling practice as well. I named my private practice, Walk in Balance, after the Cherokee saying, Walk in Balance and Beauty. Many indigenous spirituality beliefs (including Native and Cherokee) is about finding balance as a state of finding peace and harmony with oneself, nature, and the universe. I have always been drawn to these teachings in both Native and Buddhist philosophies. Mindfulness and yogic philosophy are important tools that I use both personally and clinically, forming the basis of my approach in my existential counseling approach. "Balance is the key to everything. What we do, think, say, feel, they all require awareness. And through awareness, we can grow....